Telecom HISTORY
After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year,
Japanese scientists found traces of copper wire
dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their
ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.
In the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 metres
and headlines in the US papers read: " US scientists have found
traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their
ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years
earlier than the Japanese".
One week later, a Filipino newspaper reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 500 metres, Filipino scientists have found
absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago,
their ancestors were already using wireless technology".
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PINOY CONTRACTOR ABROAD!
Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence.
One from the Philippines , another from Mexico and an American.
They go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The American contractor takes out a tape measure and
does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
Well," he says. "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials,
$400 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The Mexican
contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,
"I can do $700: $300 for> > materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Filipino contractor doesn't measure or figure,
but leans over to the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "What? You didn't even measure like
the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?
How do you expect me to consider your service with that bid?
"Easy," the Pinoy explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and
we hire the guy from Mexico ". The next day, the Pinoy and
the Mexican are working on the Fence.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Q. What's the difference between corruption in the
US and corruption in the Philippines ?A. In the U.S.
they go to jail. In the Philippines , they go to the U.S.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Q. What`s the difference among Philippine Presidents Cory, Gloria and Erap?
A. Cory can`t tell a lie, Gloria can`t tell the truth, Erap can`t tell the difference
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REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness
or suspect ano na po ang next step ninyo?? Police: DNA na...
REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA ??? Police: "Di Namin Alam "
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ANG NAKARAAN....
May ibinulong ang daga sa elepante. Biglang hinimatay ang elepante.
Ano ang ibinulong ng daga?
DAGA: Buntis ako, ikaw ang ama! SA PAGPAPATULOY. ..
Dahil di makapaniwala ang elepante, dinala nya ang
daga sa doctor. Tuwang-tuwa ang elepante at masayang
ibinulong sa daga ang result
ELEPANTE: Ako nga ang ama, at elepante ang anak natin, at kambal sila!
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TEACHER: Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio,
Ninoy Aquino at Apolinario Mabini?
STUDENT: Ma'am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat ay pinanganak ng holiday!
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TITSER: Juan, use recharge & caffeine in a sentence.
JUAN: Si "Recharge" Gutierrez ay si "Caffeine"
Barbell.
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ERAP: Soli ko tong nabili kong DVD.
FPJ: Anong problema?
ERAP: Walang picture, saka sound. Sayang. Suspense thriller pa yata to. Tsk, tsk...
FPJ: Anong title?
ERAP: "The Lens Cleaner"
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PROMDI*: Alam ko promdi lang ako kaya wag mo kong lolokohin!
Bakit ganito ang kwarto ko? Maliit, wala pang kama at bintana..... ha?
ROOMBOY: Sir, nasa elevator pa lang po tayo... (*Prom the province)
*********************************************
Jun-Jun: Inay! Ako lang ang nakasagot sa tanong ng titser namin kanina!
Inay: Very good! Ano ba ang tanong ng titser ninyo?
Jun-Jun: "Sino ang walang assignment?"
*******************************************
Titser: Ano ang hugis ng mundo?
Juan: Kuwadrado po, ma'am!
Titser: Hindi! Ang mundo ay bilog.
Juan: Pero ma'am, sabi ng lolo ko, narating na niya
ang APAT na sulok ng mundo.
May sulok po ba ang bilog?
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Thelma: Sabi mo, dok, safe ang calendar method. Eh, bakit ako nabuntis?
Dok: Paano nyo ba ginamit ang kalendaryo?
Thelma: Ginawa naming banig.
*********************************************
Boss asks his sexy secretary to a dinner after overtime:
Are you free tonight?
The sexy secretary replies: Sir, ha... huwag naman FREE...
Bibigyan na lang kita ng discount!
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Gumimik sa mall ang tatlong binatilyo...
Jepoy: SYET! Ang cute nung girl!
Kevin: Sexy pa! Grabe!
Nathan: Sino? Yung naka-mini skirt na red? Yun, yun ba? Kilala ko siya!
Teka tatawagin ko ha, kuyaaahhh Berto!
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Eliseo: Sobra na talaga ang katangahan ng kumare mo.
Ang akala niya, ang LAWSUIT ay uniporme ng pulis!
Joshua: Sus! Tanga nga! Eh di ba, uniporme ng abugado yun?
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Namatay ang isang mister na babaero. Sa requiem mass,
sinabi ng pari patungkol sa namatay, "He was an honest man,
a good man, a devoted family man." Binulungan ng biyuda
ang panganay na anak, "Pakisilip mo nga ang kabaong kung
ang daddy mo nga ang nasa loob!"
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